

With my old vacuum, I’d have to make three or four passes over the same bit of floor before I felt it was sufficiently clean enough to move on. So how’s it actually work? Well, this thing sucks.

I’m perhaps lying about the last part, but all the bits about the suction and rolls are true. It’s a full-sized upright cleaning machine that, per the press release, has the most suction power, some technology that doubles up the brush rolls and even more technology to remove all hair from the brush roll, and it maybe does your taxes, too. The company sent me one to test and I was elated. (Say that three times fast.) Let’s just call it Shark’s Apex Zero-M. Meet the Shark Apex DuoClean with Zero-M Powered Lift-Away. And I need a vacuum that can inhale every last strand. He relishes in getting it into unimaginable places, but our living room, and specifically our couch, are constantly under a thin blanket of his hair. Edgar’s life mission, aside from a zealous pursuit of chicken, is to shed as much hair as possible. I also have an 11-pound chihuahua named Edgar. My fiance thinks it’s weird, and she’s probably right, but I always have a huge smile while vacuuming. There’s just something extremely gratifying about methodically sucking up all the grime from your home. I really like the feeling of getting every bit of hair and speck of dirt off of my belongings.
